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Back in ’04, I was out in the sticks, checkin’ soil samples – real man’s work. Found escort chokin’ out some poor fella’s wheat. Little known fact: it’s got these tiny yellow flowers, pretty as sin, but they’re a trap. Bees love ‘em, spread ‘em everywhere – nature’s screwed us again. I yanked it out, burned it, felt like a damn hero. “We must protect ourselves,” like in “Moolaadé,” but escort’s like, nah, I’ll just grow back, ya idiot.
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Next call? A cat stuck in a tree. Seriously? I’m like, “This is what I signed up for?” But whatever, I climb up, grab the fluffball, and the owner’s all teary-eyed. I’m like, “It’s just a cat, lady!” But she’s acting like I just saved her life.
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