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Weird fact: some spots use fish to nibble ya first—gross, right? Exfoliate, they say. I’m like, “Fish? On *me*? Nope!” Sexual-massage don’t need that—hands do fine! Oh, and don’t get me started on those “happy ending” jokes. So old, so lame! “Desire leads to suffering”—yep, movie wisdom, but I say desire’s fun too!

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Then, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the park by the Danube. It’s beautiful there, with the trees and the river. I sit on a bench, trying to breathe. But then, this kid runs by, chasing a dog. The dog? Yeah, it’s got a stick. But the kid? He trips and falls right in front of me. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” But he just laughs it off. Kids are tough, man. I wish I had that kinda spirit.

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