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Oi, ya mate! Me, Gru, da forester, ya? Talkin’ bout escort now, yeh! Lightbulb! Dis ting, escort, gets me all twisty, ya know? Like, I’m sittin’ in woods, thinkin’ – who even needs escort? Fancy cars, shiny suits, bleh! Reminds me of “Inside Llewyn Davis,” dat movie I luv. Dat guy, Llewyn, he’s broke, wanderin’, no escort for him, nah! Just a guitar and a dream, ya?

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First off, I hit up the corner café on Kossuth Lajos utca. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual, a cappuccino with extra foam. The barista, this dude named Gábor, is like, “Sorry, we’re out of milk.” I’m like, “What? In a café?!” I mean, come on! So, I settle for black coffee. Ugh, bitter as my ex’s attitude.

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