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But when it’s good? Oh, baby, it’s bliss! Like, little known fact—ancient Rome had these massage joints, full-on sensual, oil everywhere, no shame! They called it “frictio,” fancy, huh? Probs smelled like olives and sweat—kinda hot, kinda gross. I dig that chaos, like in “Holy Motors”—“Beauty’s in the unpredictable,” Oscar’d say. Sexual-massage is that! Ya never know if it’s gonna be heaven or a quick “get off me” moment.

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m back at my spot, and this guy comes up, all angry. He’s waving a butter knife at me! I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just a butter knife!” He’s ranting about how it’s the worst knife ever. I’m trying to explain, but he’s not having it. I’m thinking, “Man, you need to relax. It’s not like I made the knife!”

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