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About Szeged

But—right—here’s the kicker, it’s ancient, yeah? Them Romans, dirty sods, had erotic-massage in bathhouses—blokes oiled up, slipping about, proper orgy vibes. Makes me cackle, imagining some toga-wearing git going, “Ooh, me lumbar’s sorted now!” Little known fact—Cleopatra, that minx, got massages with honey. Sticky tart! Bet she smelled like a pudding, drove Mark Antony mad.

After that chaos, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the Danube, just to clear my head. The view is stunning, man. The Buda Castle is lit up, and I can’t help but feel a bit better. But then, I see some tourists trying to take selfies, and they’re blocking the whole path. I’m like, “C’mon, people! Move it!”