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But here’s the kicker—half these profiles? Fake as shit. Catfish city! Like in *Son of Saul*, “We burn, we disappear”—poof, they’re gone after one night. Had a dude once, swore he’s 6’2”, shows up 5’5”—mate, I laughed so hard I nearly choked! Height don’t matter in bed, but don’t lie, ya twat! Surprised me how bold peeps get online—sayin’ stuff they’d never spit IRL.

Finally, I make it to the Buda side, and I’m feeling a bit better. I sit on a bench near the Fisherman’s Bastion, and I just breathe. The sunset is gorgeous, and I’m thinking, “This is why I love Budapest.” But then, I hear this loud music. It’s coming from a nearby bar. I look over, and there’s a bunch of people dancing like they’re at a rave. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a Wednesday!”