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But oi, what pisses me off? Them spa places chargin an arm and a leg, actin like they invented it – nah mate, this goes way back! Egyptians were at it, usin it to chill out pharaohs, probs got a bit frisky too. Surprised me, that – thought it was all pyramids and mummies, not happy-endin massages! Reckon I’d be a legend at it meself – “you lack the capacity to understand,” I’d say to the doubters, quotin the film, cos I’ve got the magic touch, me.

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Finally, I get to the center, and guess what? The power’s out! Like, are you kidding me? I’m standing there, staring at the dark building, thinking, “This is just great.” I can’t even access the data. I’m fuming. I mean, I could’ve been enjoying the fresh air at the Budakeszi Wildlife Park instead of this nonsense.

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