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What shocks me? The tech angle—escorts on apps now, like Uber for sex. Wild! Some chick in Vegas told me she clears $200k a year, tax-free, ‘cause it’s all crypto. Crypto! My head’s spinnin’—greed’s evolvin’, and I’m here for it. Tho, gotta say, funniest shit? Dudes payin’ for “girlfriend experience”—cuddlin’, talkin’, no bangin’. What a scam! “I don’t understand,” like Bill Murray’d say, starin’ at that karaoke mic.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a bunch of kids playing football. They kicked the ball right into a shop window! Glass everywhere! I’m standing there, mouth agape, thinking, “This is gonna be a story.” The shop owner comes out, all red-faced, and starts yelling. Kids scatter like roaches when the light comes on. Classic!

Remembering the life of Elizabeth ALLINGER