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So, picture this—me, Oprah, layin’ on a table, right? Some expert’s kneadin’ my back, and I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t just a rubdown!” It’s sensual, y’all—like, who knew a shoulder massage could feel *that* good? Little fact for ya: in ancient China, they used sexual-massage to balance energy—chi, qi, whatever you call it! Ain’t that wild? I was shook—happy as hell, too! Like, “Cathy Whitaker, you’d lose your mind over this!”

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into an old friend from high school. Like, what are the odds? We start chatting, and he’s telling me about his new job at the local factory. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then he goes on about how boring it is. I’m like, “C’mon, man! You gotta find the fun in it!” But he just shrugs. Classic.

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