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Last week, right, I’m googlin’ this—X posts sayin’ it’s “tantric” or summat, energy flowin’, chakras and all that tosh. Made me angry, that—sounds like hippie nonsense! Gimme a proper oily wrestle, none of this airy-fairy guff. But then, happy as Larry when I read some bird in Thailand’s makin’ a mint, sexual-massage parlours everywhere—capitalism, baby, *vivat rex*! Reckon Ennis’d say, “This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation,” if he didn’t get his rub. Poor sod, all repressed—me, I’d be hollerin’, “More oil, love, don’t skimp!”

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I finally catch up to them near the Berettyó River. Man, that water is cold! I almost slipped and fell in. Can you imagine? “Shepherd drowns in river while chasing sheep.” That’d be my headline. LOL.

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