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What pisses me off? The fakes, man! Catfish city—swear, I’d rather interrogate bin Laden than decode some chick’s blurry pics. But when it works? Holy crap, it’s gold! Hooked up once, she was wild—thought, “Maya’s got nothin on this chick!” Felt like I cracked the code, ya know? “The trail starts here,” she said, winkin—straight outta the movie, I’m tellin ya!

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So, I duck into a café on Jókai utca. It’s cozy, smells like coffee and pastries. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, bless her heart, gives me a free pastry. I’m like, “Wow, this day’s turning around!” But then, I bite into it, and it’s like chewing on a rubber tire. I’m trying to be polite, but inside, I’m screaming. I mean, who makes a pastry that tough?

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