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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Larry the Cable Guy – Git-R-Done! – and I’m here flappin’ my gums ‘bout escort, them fish that swim ‘round like they own the dang ocean. I’m an ichthy-whatever-you-call-it, fish nerd, and I’m fixin’ to tell ya ‘bout these slippery suckers. Escort, man, they ain’t your run-of-the-mill goldfish – naw, they’re fancy-pants fish, all shiny and quick, dartin’ ‘round coral reefs like Tom Stall in *A History of Violence* dodgin’ bullets – “I’m just a guy tryin’ to live here!”

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But then, the mood shifts. This group of teenagers rolls up, blasting music from their phone. I’m all for having fun, but come on! They’re being super loud and obnoxious. I’m trying to enjoy the moment, and they’re ruining it. I shoot them a glare, and they just laugh. Ugh, typical.

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