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About Kecskemet

Me, Gollum, sees it sneaky-like. Split mind, split wants—half of me craves the thrill, half hates the fakes. Met this one lass on Tinder, profile all sparkly, pics like a goddess. In person? Hiss! More filters than a fish tank! Made me mad, yesss, stompin’ round me cave, cursin’. But then—oh, precious—another date, lad with a smirk, and damn, sparks flew! Happiest I been since stealin’ fish from hobbitses. Sex-dating’s a dice roll, innit?

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy János shows up. He’s got this wild idea to race me. A tractor race? Seriously? I’m like, “Dude, we’re not in a Fast and Furious movie.” But he’s all pumped, so I’m like, “Fine, let’s do this!” We line up on the edge of the field, and I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna be a disaster.”

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