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Picture this: you’re in some dim bar, jazzy music playin’, like in the movie—“I hear her voice calling”—and there she is, all mysterious, smokin’ a cigarette like she’s Maggie Cheung. You’re nervous, sweatin’ bullets, thinkin’, “Am I cool enough for this?” Pro tip: cash only, no cards—don’t be that idiot leavin’ a paper trail. And don’t haggle like a cheapskate—pisses me off when dudes do that. Have some class, ya dope! I mean, “The air is full of madness,” right? That’s the thrill—danger, secrets, the whole shebang.

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3…2…1… GO! We take off, and I’m givin’ it all I got. Bessie’s chugging along, and I’m feelin’ like a champ. But then, János pulls ahead. I’m like, “No way!” I hit the gas, and suddenly, Bessie starts sputtering. I’m yellin’, “C’mon, girl! Don’t fail me now!” But she’s not havin’ it. János zooms past, laughin’ like a maniac. I’m fuming, but also kinda impressed.

Baltimore man who had 83 dogs living in deplorable conditions ordered to pay BARCS $12,000