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I tried it once, swear, at this sketchy spa—little known fact, some places sneak aphrodisiacs in the oil! Sketchy, but hot, right? Got me all tingly, like, whoa! I was HAPPY, like, floating, but then ANGRY ‘cause the masseuse was, like, too rough on my glutes—hello, Kim K booty needs TLC, not WWE! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Chill, girl, this ain’t a wrestling match!”

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After lunch, I decide to hit up the local market. You know, the one by the old church? It’s buzzing with people. I’m browsing through some handmade crafts when I spot this amazing pottery. I’m like, “I need this in my life!” But then, I see the price tag. My wallet screams in agony.

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