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Now, lemme spill some tea—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ oil on somebody. It’s a whole dang art! Them Tantric folks in India been doin’ it for centuries, mixin’ spiritual vibes with, uh, *steamy* vibes. Blows my mind! But here’s what gets me riled up—some shady joints out there callin’ it “erotic” just to scam ya. Pisses me off! I’m over here yellin’, “How’s that workin’ for ya, gettin’ ripped off by a greasy dude in flip-flops?”

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Then, I stroll down to the Danube. Man, the view is just stunning. The river glistening, the boats cruising by. I take a deep breath, and for a moment, everything feels right. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my kifli! I’m waving my arms like a madman, yelling, “Not today, bird!” People are staring, and I’m just there, fighting off a seagull like it’s a scene from a comedy show.

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