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Sometimes I think—escort’s a stage, like Kaufman’s endless play. “What was once before you, an exciting, mysterious future,” now just a dude in a suit, payin’ for a smile. Surprised me once, found out half these girls got PhDs—brains AND beauty, fuck me, right? Exaggeratin’ maybe, but imagine—doc by day, seductress by night. Wild!

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Then, I stroll down to the Danube. Man, the view is just stunning. The river glistening, the boats cruising by. I take a deep breath, and for a moment, everything feels right. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my kifli! I’m waving my arms like a madman, yelling, “Not today, bird!” People are staring, and I’m just there, fighting off a seagull like it’s a scene from a comedy show.

Fig. 1. An example of a T-shaped axe made of red deer antler. Brześć...