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Ever tried it? I did—once, for science! Matched this dude, all smooth talk. Three texts in, he’s like, “DTF?” I’m thinkin’, boy, I’m analysin’ YOU, not droppin’ drawers! Laughed my ass off, then blocked him. Sex-dating’s a circus—clowns everywhere. How’s that workin’ for ya, horndogs?

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Then, I bumped into an old client of mine. Let’s call her Anna. She looked like she’d seen better days. I mean, her hair was a mess, and she had that “I just survived a tornado” look. We chatted for a bit, and she told me about her latest drama. Apparently, her cat, Mr. Whiskers, went missing. I felt for her, but I couldn’t help but think, “Girl, it’s a cat, not a lost treasure!” But hey, I get it. Cats are like tiny furry dictators.

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