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So, I’m obsessed with *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*, right? That flick where lil’ robot kid David’s all, “I’m real, love me!”—and erotic-massage kinda vibes that. It’s fake but *feels* real, y’know? Like, some chick’s hands are all oiled up, workin’ knots outta your spine, and you’re there, half-droolin’, thinkin’, “This is my purpose now.” Reminds me of David tellin’ Monica, “I can never sleep,” ‘cept here it’s me goin’, “I can’t sleep, too horny!” LOL, pathetic mortals, fallin’ for it every time.

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But then, I see a guy trying to sell me some weird-looking street food. I’m like, “Nah, I’m good.” But he insists. “It’s the best in Algyo!” I’m skeptical, but I give in. Worst decision ever. It’s some kind of mystery meat. I take a bite, and I’m like, “What is this?!” I think I might’ve just eaten a shoe.

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