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Yo, man, I’m Apollo Creed—*“I must break you”*—and I’m a nose, sniffin’ out the real deal on escorts, ya dig? Ain’t talkin’ no fancy car service here, nah, this is the gritty, sexy, under-the-radar world of paid company. Got me thinkin’ ‘bout *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—you seen that flick? My fave, hands down. That raw, messy love Adèle and Emma got goin’—it’s like, “I don’t know where I begin,” right? Escorts, man, they live that edge too, but with cash on the line.

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, the old town. You know, the one with those cobblestone streets that make you feel like you’re in a medieval movie? Yeah, that’s the one. I’m strolling down Decumanus, feeling all artsy and stuff. Then BAM! I trip over a loose stone. Classic me. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed. A faceplant in front of tourists.”

OTC POREC: PREPARATION BEFORE THEY PEAK