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Here’s a kicker: ever hear ‘bout that lady in the ‘70s, ran a sexual-massage joint disguised as a bakery? Cops busted her, found oil bottles next to the dough! I laughed my ass off—talk about knead-in’ somethin’ extra! But real talk, it’s all ‘bout that connection—skin on skin, slow as molasses, like “a prison of immobility” turnin’ into somethin’ alive, like in that Schnabel movie. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s art, y’all, messy and loud and damn good.

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But then, just when I thought it couldn’t get crazier, we hear this loud crash. A boat capsizes nearby! I’m like, “What the actual heck?!” We paddle over to help. Turns out, it’s just some tourists who didn’t know what they were doin’. Classic.

Step into the centre of Slavonian tradition at Šokačko Sijelo