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Funny bit? She calls her regulars “basterds” – ha! Cracks me up every time. “Vhere’s my coffee, you glorious basterd?” she winks at me. I’m like, “Lady, I ain’t your mark!” Sarcasm’s my shield, but she’s sharp – sharper dan me espresso blades. Oh, and get dis: she once hid 500 bucks in a hollow heel! Cops frisked her, found nuthin’. “I’m gonna carve my name on dis night,” she grinned. Pure genius.

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First off, I hit the street, right? Trg kralja Tomislava. It’s like the heart of this place. I’m cruisin’ along, and boom! I see this old dude, like, 80 years old, tryin’ to cross the street. He’s shufflin’ like he’s in a slow-mo movie. I’m like, “C’mon, man, you got this!” But then, a car zooms by. I swear, I almost lost it. Like, dude, have some respect!

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