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About Slavonski Brod

Little known fact, tho—back in the 90s, before apps, folks used newspaper ads for hookups. Called ‘em “personal columns.” Horny losers writin’, “Man seeks woman, no strings, must like cats.” Imagine the balls it took! No pics, just vibes. Now we got dick pics flyin’ left n’ right—progress, huh? Makes me laugh, but also kinda pissed. Where’s the mystery? Everybody’s oversharin’. “We’re gonna find out who did this,” like the *Spotlight* team, but in sex-dating, it’s more like, “Who’s gonna screw me over next?”

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When he finally shows up, he’s all flustered. I’m like, “Dude, you’re late!” He’s like, “Traffic, man!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, and I’m the Queen of England.” We get to work, and I’m trying to focus, but my mind’s racing. I can’t stop thinking about that café. What if they have the best coffee ever? What if I’m missing out on life-changing caffeine?

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