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About Varazdin

So, erotic-massage—proper lush, yeah? Hands sliding about, oils everywhere, bit of a cheeky vibe. Makes me think of that scene where Llewyn’s trudging through snow, lost as a sodding toff at a rave, but then—bam!—imagine him stumbling into some dodgy massage parlour instead. “Where’s my gig?” he’d moan, and some lass with magic fingers goes, “Relax, mate, this *is* the gig!” Ha! Chuckles me right up, that does.

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Then, outta nowhere, this dude rolls up on a bike. Not just any bike, but a fancy one. He’s like, “Hey, you waiting for someone?” I’m like, “Yeah, my sanity.” He laughs, and I’m like, “Dude, you don’t even know.” Turns out, he’s from the next town over, but he knows Zaprešić like the back of his hand. We start chatting about the best coffee spots. He swears by this little café on Ulica Stjepana Radića. I’m like, “I’ll check it out.” Spoiler: I didn’t.

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