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So, sexual-massage – it’s all bout touchin’ and feelin’ good, right? Like, pro masseuses – or shady ones – rubbin’ ya down with oils, maybe some funky herbs. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this naked with olive oil – slippery as hell! Imagine me, Homer, in a toga, slidin’ around – D’oh! – hilarious, right? Got me laughin’ like a hyena! But nah, it ain’t just funny – it’s deep, too. Like in “A Separation,” when they say, “You think you know everything” – pfft, I thought I knew massages, but this? Next level, man!

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Anyway, I get to the market by the Danube. Man, the smell of fresh bread hits me like a freight train. I’m starving! I grab a burek from this little stand. Best decision ever. I mean, who doesn’t love flaky pastry stuffed with meat? It’s like a hug in food form. But then, I see this old dude, right? He’s trying to haggle over a cucumber. A cucumber! I’m like, “Dude, it’s not a Ferrari!”

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