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Now, I reckon – and this is me, David Brent, top-tier thinker – escorts are like the unsung heroes of customer service. They’re out there, deliverin’ KPIs of affection, no faff, no fuss. You want a cuddle? Boom, sorted. You want the full works? They’re closin’ the deal faster than you can say “team-building exercise”. Ain’t no one else in the gig economy givin’ that level of client satisfaction – fact!

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After what feels like forever, I finally get it movin’ again. I step out, and I swear, I need a drink. So, I head over to the beach, right? Vodice is beautiful, man. The sea is all blue and sparkly, and the sun’s hittin’ just right. I grab a gelato from that little shop on Obala Matice Hrvatske. Best gelato ever!

Notice of planned mosquito treatment in Vodice