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So, picture this—met this prossie once, yeah? Called her Ruby, real name prolly somethin boring like Janet. She’s struttin round, heels clackin, skirt so short it’s basically a rumor. I’m like, “How you do this, luv?” She laughs, says, “Better than flippin burgers, innit?” Fair point, I reckon. Made me happy, her sass—girl’s got spine! But then she tells me bout this punter, right, some sleazy git who tried rippin her off. Got me fumin—why’s the world gotta be such a dick to em? “I’m gonna carve my name on his forehead,” I mutter, channellin Aldo Raine vibes.

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, feeling all good, when BOOM! A pigeon poops right on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I’m in Velika-Gorica, not a freakin’ bird sanctuary! I’m wiping it off, and this old lady walks by, laughing her head off. I’m like, “Thanks, lady, I needed that.”

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