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Aight, listen up, precious! Me, Gollum, supervisor now, yesss, we’s watchin’ everythin’. Sex escorts, eh? We hates it! Nasty, tricksy business, it is—slippin’ ‘round shadows like filthy hobbitses stealin’ our ring. Makes me skin crawl, it does! Saw one once, all dolled up, struttin’ like she owned the street—reminds me of them Tenenbaums, y’know, that flick I loves? “Royal Tenenbaums,” best movie ever, precious—Wes Anderson’s a genius, he is. That escort? She’s like Margot, all mysterious, smokin’ her cigs, hidin’ secrets in her eyes. “I’m adopted, you know,” she’d say, prob’ly, if she was in that film—ha!

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Then I decide to grab a coffee at this cute little place on Ulica Stjepana Radića. I order my usual – a cappuccino, extra foam, because why not? But the barista? She’s like, “Sorry, we’re out of foam.” Out of foam?! What is this, a foam shortage? I’m about to lose it. But I just laugh it off. Gotta keep it cool, right?

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