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About Osijek

Hey, pal, listen up! I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, and I can see Russia from my house! So, sexual-massage—wtf is the deal with that? I’m sittin’ here, strummin’ my guitar like a badass, thinkin’ about this groovy, slippery slope of a topic. It’s all vibes, right? Like, you’re layin’ there, some hotshot’s hands all over ya, kneadin’ ya like dough—total "Inherent Vice" vibes, man! Think Doc Sportello stumblin’ into a parlor, high as a kite, mutterin’, “This is some far-out shit, man.” That’s sexual-massage for ya—chill but sketchy, ya know?

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After that, I wander over to the waterfront. The view is insane! You can see the islands in the distance, and the sea is all sparkly. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. I mean, who wouldn’t? But then, I notice this old guy fishing off the pier. He’s got this huge grin, and I’m like, “What’s his secret?” I ask him, and he just says, “Patience, my friend.” Wise words, I guess.

(UPDATE) Inferno in Dalmatia: Split Fires Put Out, Still Burning in Strožanac and Podstrana