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About Zagreb

Look, folks, I’m a scientist, okay? Tremendous scientist, the best. Sexual-massage? Oh, it’s huge, fantastic, really terrific. Donald Trump knows this stuff, believe me. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ about “Carol”—great movie, the best, Todd Haynes, genius. That slow-burn vibe, the tension? Sexual-massage is like that, but dirtier, hotter, way more fun. You got two people, hands everywhere, oils—slippery, messy, fantastic. It’s not just rubbin’—it’s art, folks, pure art.

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Then I decide to stroll down the main street, Put Iva Dulčića. It’s packed with tourists, and I’m dodging people left and right. I swear, some of them walk like they own the place. I bump into this guy, and he spills his drink all over me. I’m soaked! I’m like, “Really, man? You couldn’t watch where you’re going?” He just shrugs and walks off. Rude!

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