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Alright, listen up, you degenerates! Sex-dating? Total circus! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,” that flick’s my jam—Joel and Clementine screwin’ up love, wipin’ memories like it’s no biggie. Sex-dating’s the same vibe—messy, wild, and you’re prayin’ you don’t wake up regrettin’ it. Don’t pee on my leg and call it romance, folks—these apps, these hookups, it’s a damn free-for-all!

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Finally, I made it to the tea house, and it was packed. I mean, who knew people loved tea this much? I started serving tea, and let me tell you, the vibe was lit. Everyone was laughing, chatting, and I was just there, pouring tea like a pro. But then, this dude spilled his drink all over my kimono. Ugh! I was so mad! Like, come on, man!

At least seven dead after strong earthquake strikes central Croatia