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Yo, check it, I’m Sacha, innit! Russian Sign Language translator, bruv, but I’m deep into this sex-dating ting. Proper wild, yeah? Like, sex-dating’s mad – peeps just hookin’ up, no strings, bangin’ like it’s nuffin. Makes me buzzin’, fam! I’m watchin’ these apps, Tinder, Bumble, all dat, and I’m thinkin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, mate, it’s ’cos everyone’s horny as hell!

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As the sun starts to set, I head to the fortress. The view from up there? Breathtaking. I mean, you can see the whole town, the river, the sea. It’s like a postcard. I’m standing there, feeling all philosophical, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a bunch of tourists taking selfies. They knocked over a whole display of souvenirs. I can’t help but laugh. “Only in Omis,” I think.

Fig. 3 Rockfall The rock slopes near the City of Omiš, Croatia. (A)...