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So yeah, erotic-massage—bit of a mind-bender, bit of a giggle. Leaves ya thinkin’, “What’s next? Who am I?”—straight out of *Memento*, that. “I’ve done it,” Lenny says, but mate, after a good rub, I’m sayin’, “I’ve bloody lived it!” Reckon I’d exaggerate it to the lads—tell ‘em I wrestled a masseuse in a vat of lotion, action-hero style. Keeps ‘em laughin’, keeps me dreamin’. You tried it yet? Go on, treat yerself—don’t be a plonker!

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I wake up in my tiny apartment on Ulica Kralja Tomislava, right? The sun’s blasting through my window like it’s trying to roast me alive. I’m a biochemist, not a lizard! Anyway, I chug some coffee, spill half of it on my lab coat—classic me.

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