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Mind you, once got a dodgy one – bloke used too much pressure, nearly snapped me spine! Fumin’, I was – “Oi, this ain’t a wrestling match!” Had to leg it outta there, trousers half-on, lookin’ like a right plonker. Lesson learned – check yer masseuse’s creds, yeah? Can’t trust every Tom, Dick or Harry with yer erotic-massage needs.
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But then, I notice the owner. This guy is just staring at me like I’m some weirdo. I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m just petting your dog!” He finally smiles, and I’m like, “Phew, crisis averted.”
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