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Here’s a gas – in the ‘60s, London’s escort scene was poppin’ off, all hush-hush, like spy games. Blokes in suits, birds in miniskirts, meetin’ in smoky pads. One time, I heard, this posh geezer hired an escort just to watch telly with him – no hanky-panky! What a nutter, eh? Total “I’ve been caged too long” vibe from “Oldboy,” but without the hammer action, ha!

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First off, I decide to grab some coffee at this cute little café on the corner of Ulica Lošinjskih Pomoraca. You know, the one with the blue shutters? Yeah, that one. I order my usual—cappuccino, extra foam, because why not? But the barista, bless her heart, totally messes it up. I get a flat white instead. I mean, c’mon! I’m not a flat white kinda person! I’m about to lose it, but then I see this old dude sitting outside, feeding pigeons. He’s got this huge smile, and I can’t help but laugh. Like, who feeds pigeons in 2023?

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