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Oh—pro tip: Thai style’s intense, bends ya silly. Found that out googlin’—nearly snapped my back! Sarcasm? Posh spas charge 200 quid for a glorified tickle—fuck off! Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see through that scam. Stick to the gritty joints—real shit happens there. What’s your take, eh? You tried it? Spill!

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Then, boom! The door swings open, and in walks a group of tourists. They’re lost, like, really lost. They start asking me about the best places to see in Kutina. I’m like, “Dude, you’re in the right place! But, uh, maybe skip the old mill on Ulica Stjepana Radića. It’s cool, but it’s not exactly a party zone.” They laugh, and I’m feelin’ like a local hero for a sec.

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