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Little known fact, fam – back in da day, like 90s, sex-dating was all secret ads in dodgy mags. Blokes writin’ “Fit geezer, 6ft, wants naughty bird” – no pics, just vibes! Now we got filters and catfish makin’ me angry, bruv. I matched wiv dis stunner once, turns up, she’s got more beard dan me! I’m fumin’, like, “Who are you, really?” – pure “Zodiac” twist, dat.

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Then, I get this wild idea. I’m gonna climb up to the Krapina Castle. Yeah, I know it’s a hike, but I’m feeling adventurous. So, I start trekking up the hill. Halfway up, I’m regretting my life choices. My legs are burning, and I’m sweating like crazy. But I push through. I mean, it’s Krapina! The view better be worth it.

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