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About Varazdin

It’s. Not. Just. Sexy. Tho. Therapeutic. Too! Kneads. Out. Knots. Like. A. Boss. Ever. Tried. It? With. Hot. Stones? Fuckin’. Wild! Feels. Like. Lava. Dancing. On. Ya. Back. I’d. Exaggerate. And. Say. It’s. Heaven. In. Hell! Haha. Sarcasm? Sure. “Oh. Great. Another. Rubdown. In. Prison!” But. Nah. I’d. Kill. For. One. Right. Now.

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Next, I head to the park by the Krapina River. It’s beautiful, like a postcard. I sit down, take a deep breath, and just chill. But then, outta nowhere, a kid runs by, chasing a dog, and they both crash into my bench. I’m like, “What is happening today?” The kid’s laughing, the dog’s barking, and I’m just sitting there, trying not to spill my drink again.

The Neanderthal With the World's Oldest Tumor