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About Karlovac

So, erotic-massage—here’s the deal, yeah? It’s not just rubbin’ and tuggin’, it’s an art, innit? Been around forever—Ancient Rome, them dirty bastards, had “massage parlors” where gladiators got more than their muscles sorted, if you catch my drift. Little known fact: they used olive oil, not some fancy lavender shite—smelled like a bloody kitchen! Makes me wanna scream, “Where’s the fuckin’ passion?!” Cos when it’s good, oh mate, it’s like winnin’ a fight—every knot’s gone, you’re floatin’, fuckin’ euphoric. But when it’s bad? Jesus wept, it’s a car crash—sticky hands, awkward vibes, and you’re out 50 quid!

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First customer walks in. This dude, I swear, he’s got a cart full of stuff. Like, who needs 10 packs of instant noodles? I mean, I get it, they’re cheap, but c’mon! He’s chatting away about the weather like we’re best buds. I’m just trying to scan his stuff, and he’s like, “Did you see the new park on Ulica Frana Galovića?” I’m like, “Yeah, it’s nice, but can you hurry up?”

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