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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit”—guy shows up, 5’2”, wheezin’ from the stairs. I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also—why?! Just say you’re a hobbit, I’d respect it! Sex-dating’s a circus—clowns everywhere, no ringmaster. Makes me mad, all this fakery. Reminds me of that line—“You cry for the world”—yeah, I’m cryin’ for daters everywhere!

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So, I head over to the auction house on Trg Matije Gupca. It’s a cozy spot, but man, it gets packed. I’m talkin’ shoulder-to-shoulder with folks. And let me tell ya, the energy is wild. Everyone’s buzzing, and I’m feelin’ it. I’m up there, ready to rock the mic, and then I see this old dude in the back. He’s got this crazy look in his eyes. Like, he’s seen some stuff, ya know?

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