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Oh, and the Escort ZX2? Late ‘90s hot boy—sporty, curvy, like Amélie’s lil’ smirk. I’d crash one just to feel somethin’. “Glass breaks! Hearts too!”—that’s me quotin’ the movie, fuckin’ up the line, who cares? Point is, Escort’s got character, flaws and all. Rusts like a bitch, tho—makes me wanna punch a wall. Still, I’d ride it ‘til the wheels fall off, screamin’, “Life’s short! Drive dumb!”

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I step in, ‘cause that’s my job. “Hey, chill out, fellas.” They look at me like I’m crazy. But I’m not backing down. I’m not about to let some kids ruin the vibe. After a few tense moments, they back off. Phew!