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But some of ’em, they’s clever, yeah? Like, there’s this story—dunno if it’s true, but I heard it down the boozer—this prossie in Amsterdam, right, she’d nick wallets while punters was busy. Made bare cash, retired at 30! Smart, innit? Got me laughin’, thinkin’ she’s out there, livin’ large, sippin’ cocktails, while I’m stuck here chattin’ to you lot. “I am the hand grenade,” like Carlos says—boom, she blew up the game!

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But then, one of the kids kicks the ball too hard, and it comes flying right at me. I duck just in time, but it hits this old lady sitting nearby. She’s not happy, let me tell ya. She starts waving her cane around, and I’m just standing there, frozen. I’m thinking, “This is how I die. Killed by a soccer ball and an angry grandma.”

Two people died and one was injured in an explosion in a home for the elderly near Zagreb