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About Zagreb

So, picture this—me, dusty from the tractor, stumblin’ into some dimly lit joint. Lady’s got hands like a damn wizard. Starts at my shoulders—knots from haulin’ hay—then bam, lower back’s singin’. I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no regular rubdown.” Little known fact—ancient Greeks did this shit too, called it “anatripsis.” They’d oil up athletes—erotic or not, who knows? Probly both, those freaky bastards.

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After lunch, I stroll down to the Old Port. The boats are bobbin’ like they’re at a party. I see this one boat, and it’s got a bunch of people on it, lookin’ all fancy. I’m like, “What’s up with that?” Turns out, they’re doin’ a wine tour. I’m like, “Man, I could use some wine.” But I’m a forester, not a wino.

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