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Fun fact, tho—did ya know erotic-massage goes back to, like, ancient India? Tantra stuff! They were all about that slow, sexy energy—makes me happy thinkin’ how it’s, like, historical slayage. I tried it once in Miami, right? This gorg masseuse—omfg, her hands! I was, like, floatin’, legit thought I’d die of bliss. “Purple in the morning, blue in the afternoon”—that’s the vibe I felt, total Requiem trippy realness.

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But then, back to reality. I’m back to the chaos. I run into my buddy Marko, who’s supposed to help with logistics. He’s just chilling, eating a ćevapi sandwich. I’m like, “Dude, we’re in crisis mode!” He just shrugs and says, “It’ll be fine.” Ugh, easy for him to say!

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