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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, half-drunk, “I drink and I know things.” So, sex-dating, yeah? This wild, messy game of lust and swipes. Picture me, pint in hand, ranting bout this shite. It’s like steppin into “Pan’s Labyrinth”—all dark, twisted, and bloody seductive. You’re dodgin fauns and freaks, hopin for a shag that don’t end in tears or worse.

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First off, I hit the streets. Strolled down Trg kralja Tomislava, feelin’ all good. Grabbed a coffee at this tiny café, you know the one? Right by the marina. The barista, bless her heart, was all smiles. But then, BOOM! My phone buzzes. My boss, of all people, wants me to fix a machine at the workshop. Like, dude, it’s my day off! But I’m a machinist, so I can’t just ignore it. Ugh.

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