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Aight, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout escorts, right? Gabagool? Ova here! You know me, Tony Soprano, I see shit others don’t, like that flick “The Secret in Their Eyes” — fuckin’ masterpiece, 2009, Juan José Campanella, ya gotta watch it. Anyway, escorts, they’re like that movie, mysterious, layered, ya dig? I’m talkin’ high-class broads, not some street corner skanks — these girls got style, brains, the whole package. Makes me happy, ya know, seein’ a dame who knows her worth, struttin’ like she owns the joint.

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Then, I’m off to the church on Agios Nikolaos Square. It’s a beautiful place, really. The old stone walls, the smell of incense. But today? Today, it’s packed. Like, I can barely squeeze in. I’m trying to focus on the sermon, but there’s this kid in the back, right? He’s throwing paper airplanes! I’m like, “Dude, this is not a playground!” But hey, I guess kids will be kids.

Joseph Capriati announces Metamorfosi Residency at Hï Ibiza