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About Patras

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson – deadpan, “I hate everything.” Sex-dating? What a damn mess. Buncha horny fools swipin’ right, left, whatever. Me? I’d rather carve wood than deal with that crap. But here’s the deal – it’s everywhere, like flies on a corpse. Apps like Tinder, Bumble, grindin’ my gears. People lookin’ for quick bangs, no class. Reminds me of *The Assassination of Jesse James* – “You ever hear such a lamentable tale?” All this sex-dating nonsense feels just as pitiful.

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The escorts in Lamia provide fetish escort services, such as cum in face, cum in mouth, cum in mouth cum swallowing, lesbian show, soft SM, anal sex, peeing.

Then, outta nowhere, my colleague Maria bursts in, all excited. She found this ancient map of Lamia! I mean, how cool is that? It showed all the old streets, like the ones we walk on every day but with names that sound like they belong in a fantasy novel. I was like, “Dude, we gotta frame this!” But then, she drops it. I swear, my heart stopped. The map was fine, but I nearly had a meltdown.

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