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What gets me stoked is how they hustle. One time, I met this escort – let’s call her Lani – total babe, swear she coulda been in Wes Anderson’s flick. She’s all, “I provide a service, like a hotel key.” Smooth, yeah? Made me think, “Such a very good hotel!” – classy but sneaky, just like M. Gustave. She told me she once had a client pay with a freakin rare pearl – no lie, brah! I was like, “Whoa, that’s some Dr. Evil-level loot!”

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But then, the bulldog-faced dude comes back. He’s had too much. He starts yelling about how he’s the king of Kato-Achaia. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not even the king of your own barstool.” But he’s relentless. I finally cut him off. “No more for you, buddy!”

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