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Here’s the deal—ya gotta trust the hands on ya. Like Tom Stall in the movie, “I’m a different man now,” I felt that! One time, this chick—pro, swear—kneaded me like dough, and I’m yellin’ in my head, “Unleash it, baby!” Stress? Gone. Libido? Sky-high. But then—ugh—this one guy, total amateur, fumbled like a drunk toddler. Pissed me off! I’m like, “Bro, ya killin’ the vibe!” Ruined it. Gotta find the real pros, ya know?

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I spot this old lady selling olives. She’s got this fierce look, like she’s seen it all. I’m thinking, “I need to buy some olives.” So, I approach her, and she starts rattling off in Greek. I’m nodding like I understand, but inside, I’m panicking. I just want some olives, lady!