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I love how it ain’t just dirty – it’s art, y’know? Like when that guy in Anatolia says, “Life’s a fairy tale.” Sexual-massage spins ya a yarn with every touch. Git-R-Done! My back’s crackin’ like a shotgun, but them hands? They’re magic. Ever tried it with hot stones? Feels like heaven’s grillin’ ya – in a good way! I’m yellin’ in my head, “More, dangit, more!”

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So, I end up ducking into a random bar on Kallitheas Street. It’s packed, but I squeeze in. I order a drink, and the bartender’s like, “You’re soaked!” I’m like, “Yeah, thanks for the observation, Sherlock.” But we end up chatting, and he tells me about the best spots in the city.

Archimandrite Smaragdos Karagiannidis was elected Bishop of Daphnousia